Some fruity kitchen garden ideas for the year ahead

Now is the time I usually turn my mind to my garden planning for the year ahead. The autumn/advent hiatus is over, and the land is at its most dormant, waiting to be woken from its slumber by the warm spring rays of sun. How will I reorganise my beds? What can be consigned to the compost heap? And most exciting, what new things might I try this year? One of the delights of home grown veg is that you get to try things that, ordinarily, are not readily available in the supermarkets. Varieties or species that are just not 'commercial'. I'm no gardening expert, but that doesn't mean I can't broaden my horticultural skillset. So, what to try?
Cast your minds back to last April (2011), when what appeared to be a rather elaborate April Fools day trick was much publicised through the internets and old-school press alike. People were not sure whether to believe that there was an actual strawberry that appeared to be in reverse, or back to front, or inside out, or opposite or whatever. The berry in question was a Pineberry. A strawberry that was white, with little red seeds, and taste of pineapple. Yeah right! Yet there also appeared to be an SEO agency that was also called Pineberry – was this a very clever example of viral marketing, or did the things actually exist?

The somewhat cynical web team I work with was wholeheartedly on the side of it being an April Fool. But in a BBC article, it stated that Pineberries were sold by Waitrose. I thought it odd that a hoax would be so specific, and unless Waitrose was in on it, this started to look promising. So I did no more that call Waitrose at their head office in Bracknell. The lovely chap I spoke to thought I was having a laugh, initially, when I enquired about the nearest Waitrose that stocked them. He did not seem overly well-versed in the berry range that Waitrose offered their customers. Thus when I mentioned our suspicions that this was a hoax, he concurred without much persuasion. But what he then did, and this is why I love the John Lewis Partnership, was to go off and check with his manager. Even though he probably thought his manager was about to laugh her head off at him, he bore no malice and martyred himself on the alter of superior customer service. His manager had obviously read her dispatches that day, for she confirmed that this berry was no hoax. It was real. The hallowed berry was a horticultural truth. The lovely chap confirmed that the nearest stores to me that sold it were some distance from me. I think that was their politically correct way of saying ‘we are only selling it in areas where people fall into the 'right' demographic’.
Thus, I had to suffice with knowing that the Pineberry was an actual berry and not the brainchild of an ad agency, without actually managing to get a taste of it.

However all is not lost! For this year, I am pleased to announce you will be able to purchase your very own supply of white fruits with red-seeded pock-marks. Crocus.co.uk will now be stocking Pineberries on their virtual garden-centre shelves! Which means you won’t have to live in exorbitantly priced, stock-broker belt areas in order to purchase them. Now you too can pretend you are one of the Softfruiteratti. All you will need is a sunny spot, some decent soil, a bed of straw, some organic fertilizer and water. Organic fertillizer because, when it comes to things I eat, the act of dousing my home-grown foodstuffs with chemicals renders them psychologically inedible for fear of the carcinogens that lay within (said the ex-40-a-day-smoker). Even though I don't buy wholly organic at the supermarket. Go figure.
I read the following review in The Guardian which was less than complimentary about these curious fruits, however this has not disuaded me. There are those for whom the aesthetics will be persuasion enough to buy them, and those, like me, who enjoy the novelty factor. I am not persuaded by a one punnet experiment either. I have been waiting a long time to try the little blighters, and will be putting in an order for them immediately!
There are other varieties of white strawberry available, with excellent flavour, and you can purchase seeds for the White Soul variety from Suttons. These have no red on them at all. Right now, it's just about the right time to sew them under glass.

Here are a couple of other ideas for your garden that aren’t quite so run-of-the-mill:

Medlars

From the dimiutive strawberry to the enormous tree. These have started to re-appear in the food-blogs & telly progs over the last year or so. I remember seeing them discussed on QI some time ago, and I do wonder whether this mention got people pondering upon them. The nerd in me wants to look at broadcast dates of the show in question and check medlar sales in comparison, but that would be phenomenally sad. There is something rather pornographic about these fruits, indeed their nickname during the middle ages was ‘open-arses’. If you take a look at the photo you will understand why that name is rather apt. Medlars require ‘bletting’ before they are edible – you will read in varying sources that this means you have to leave them until they are rotten before they can be enjoyed, but I am here to reassure you this is not quite the case. They do not rot in the true sense of the word, i.e. decay - there is no bacterial activity. It’s just their ripening process is rather lengthy and extreme and indeed you could be forgiven for thinking it had gone bad. The texture is a somewhat grainy, reminiscent of pear, applesauce and the taste is like appley booze or boozy sweet apples. Acquired, but worth acquiring.

Mulberries

A fruit immortalised in the famous nursery rhyme, this is a plant that again seems to have fallen from edible favour, possibly since they do not store or travel well. Perhaps it’s because of their association with silkworms that children find them off-putting, I don’t know. However these are also tasty little fruits and come in a variety of colours, from white to deep red and black. The white mulberry (the silkwormy one, native to China and available from Reads ) has white fruits which turn pinkish, so not white in the strictest sense. Happily, no doubt due to our renewed interest in heritage fruits and foraging, Crocus.co.uk is also selling the common black mulberry too. Be warned, though - it will need space and a suitable site. This is a full-sized, albeit magnificent, tree.

Now, if you happen to find yourself with white strawberries and white pineberries, I am envisaging a rather minimalist white pavlova, swathed in snowy, softly billowing whipped cream and scattered with your collection of white fruits, and a frosted bunch of whitecurrants adorning it, with a scattering of glitter for that sparkly touch of the camp. You could guarantee nobody else would be serving it on your dinner party circuit. And that's the joy of growing your own!